“Where are you putting up?” asked this petite acquaintance from Delhi. Putting up what? I almost asked. Ah! she meant to ask where was I staying. Dinner table courtesy restricted me from poking fun at her inadvertent faux pas. Starters arrived but the lady refused to stop. After I told where I was “putting” up, she attacked, “So how is the job ‘opPORtunities’ in Mumbai?” I thought of mentioning that if she wasn’t pretty, my old English professor would have used this ‘opportunity’ to skin her alive.
You know …what’s with these Delhi-ites? They are fashionable, I mean they are great when it comes to dressing up well to shop at M-block but their urge to butcher the Queen’s language is much more than their lust for butter chicken. But hang on, there was more murder that evening.
To be fair, she was a well-educated, confident, young woman, an expert in retail banking but had scant respect for pronunciation. “So what do you ‘hair’ in Mumbai? (Read - ’here’) . If she said that in Tamil, she’d be jailed for unparliamentary language. (Tamil abuses and their English skills can be saved for another blog). So, I said, I am splitting hairs over my job ‘here’ in Mumbai.
At main course, it was homicide. “I have to return back to Dhelli imme-jiately. I am taking today evening flight.” The city, my love, is called Delhi with a hard D. Don’t even get me started on “immediately” – that word has been a victim of national torture.
After all this, I was in no mood for dessert. And as we tipped the waiter, came her piece de resistance, “Give me your ‘cuntact.”
My case rests.
8 comments:
I can't believe you had dinner with someone who talks like that!!! Surely you must have heard her accent before you went out with her!!! Ok - this is not good. It's easy to make fun of accents - not just Indian, but Romanian, Chinese, Puerto Rican... whatever.
The thing that gets my goat is when reporters and anchors on Hindi channels transliterate from English (it is transliterate, itsn't it?) This morning on Aajtak was a kaala din (black day) because we lost to Bangladesh, and the zameeni haqeekat (ground reality) was blah blah blah... WHAT?????
And good to see you writing again. Though once a month is still not enough for your fans. Share your thoughts and experiences with us more often, you super star, you!!!
What is the word, da??? Not transliterate. That is when you write say, a Hindi word in English - like 'gadha' - so what is the word I'm looking for? Now it's going to drive me batty till I get it.
Transliteration is lift-irrigation. Not about essence and meaning as is translation. But its about word to word. Zameeni Haqeekat and kala din...I find such things fascinating.
It is illustrative of two things. That even our so-called Hindi journalists think in English and then write in Hindi; and/or that they are absolutely and equally comfortable in two languages. Both these factors are intriguing.
But it also is an instance of crossfertilization of language and idioms (language is the currency of culture, and so will and can never be static). Idioms and phrases are embedded in culture. And when they are lift-irrigated from one language to another, it points to a larger picture about social and cultural trends. And that larger picture interests me.
I am a purist in language in the sense that I want to get my grammar right, in the sense that I dont want to use foul language. For eg, I dont use the 'f' word unless I mean it sexually.
But I am not a purist when it comes to cross-fertilization of language. So I don't know why you or anyone would find it objectionable.
Talking about language, one thing I find very interesting is the value we put on the 'sacred' language when communing with the Supreme Being. Why does reciting the Shiv Panchakshara Stotra in Sanskrit make it feel purer, stronger than if I were to read out an English translation? Or the Mahimna Stotram. The more complicated the Sanskrit, the more effort I have to make, the more pleased God will be? Is that it? Do I feel for those few minutes that I've become a Brahmin?
ok. for the first time in months and years someone wants to know what you think about now and then.
and is concerned about having you post it now and then.
i'm not a freak. not a stalker. just an intelligent, informed fan. (even if i do say so myself :-))
dont connect if you dont want to without a name and a face.
but at least post???
is mein kya diqqat hai??
Yenna, da???
is that asking for too much?
not sure that's fair, really - it's one thing to mock vacuousness, another to make fun of accents. i understand, a heavy accent makes one sound unsophisticated, unsexy perhaps. and yes, a higher proportion of people from delhi, as opposed to cities like bombay or bangalore, sound dumb, pretentious, more so when they put on a fake firang accent which slips at glaringly inopportune moments.
but if the person has brilliant ideas, and is super confident, i should think the accent would be just as cool as the jamaican one. it's a construct, in the end...
"The city, my love, is called Delhi with a hard D."
Well, yes, the Brits did that. Your friend was probably saying Dilli - with a soft d - which is what the city has historically been called. Would you correct someone for saying Thiruchirapalli instead of Trichy?
(Not Dhilli by the way. That would be read entirely differently since the word is in Hindi, as you probably are aware. Phonetisizing English is a regional prerogative.)
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